Sandals, Puerto Rico and Airline Fun!
For some reason, whenever I work a gig in Puerto Rico, there is a challenge to overcome - whether it's sound system issues, the audience being seated almost a football field's distance from the stage with a buffet service area between them and me or insect problems, it's always something that makes the trip interesting.
Sandals Resorts brought me down to Puerto Rico recently for a promotional show for Classic Vacations, their biggest travel agency partner. Knowing this I wondered at what challenge would present itself during the show this time out.
To my surprise - no surprises happened with regards to the show itself, at all!
However, the trip was not without its interesting points!
I left Chicago on an earlier flight than I originally had planned for, due to a change in my other plans, and arrived at O'Hare International Airport with plenty of time to get on board. As this was a one-nighter, I was carrying on my luggage, thank heavens!
The flight took off precisely on time and, about ten minutes out, the pilot came on the intercom with the following message: "Ladies and gentlemen, we are having a slight technical difficulty with the airplane, nothing serious, but we are returning to O'Hare so that it can be addressed. Please return your seats to their upright positions and restore your tray-tables to their stored positions. And when we land, please follow the directions of your flight crew TO THE LETTER."
At this point, I noticed that my flight attendant was strapped into her seat and kept pulling on her crash harness to tighten it, every few seconds. Her experssion was NOT conducive to a calm feeling in the pit of one's stomach!
We landed without incident and, as we were exiting the aircraft, I overheard two maintenance workers talking on the jetway: "Yeah, they brought this bird in on flaps. The rudder's frozen solid."
I was NOT thrilled to hear that, as the rudder is the big thing on the tail of the plane that steers the blasted thing!
We saddled up and left on the next flight out and arrived in San Juan about 3 hours late. As we landed, the passengers broke into spontaneous applause and the pilot, the same one we had flown with on the first flight, came on the speakers and, in a credible Elvis imitation, exclaimed, "Thank you, thank you very much!" We all got a good laugh out of that.
I barely made it to the hotel in time to shower, change and get to the show on time.
The show went quite well.
I got to bed at about midnight and was up at 4AM to catch the shuttle back to the airport. Showbiz is SO glamorous!
The 8:02Am flight did not depart on time. It seems we had a "slight technical problem" with the air conditioning system. Those of us with connecting flights, that would be me of course, were asked to de-plane and speak to the ticket agents at the counter to arrange alternate flight plans. As I was in the tail section, this did not bode well. As I had a show that night in Chicago, the delay did not bode well, either.
When I finally got my carcass off the plane, the line to see the ticket agents was stretched down the hall for TWO gates! My hernia (a gift from having pneumonia this summer), was acting up and I was not feeling comfy at all, so, when I saw a customer service representative next to the ticket counter, I approached her and explained my situation as follows:
"Hi. I don't usually do this, but I have a hernia and I am kind of hurting. I also have a connecting flight in Miami to Chicago that I really have to make or I will miss making a show that I have to do tonight." I gestured to the line, which hd stretched to another gate further out by then, "Frankly, if I stand in that line, it's pretty certain that I will fall down and completely certain that I will not make my flight. I don't think either of us wants either of those things to happen. Can you look into what might be done instead?" I smiled. She nodded and asked me firmly to sit down and headed for the ticket counter.
A few moments later, she came running to me. These people never run, it upsets the passengers. "Go to Gate 19. They're boarding right now and will wait for you. I'll catch up with you with your ticket."
I was at Gate 4. Gate 19 was a good 2 city blocks away. I hauled it as best I could.
I arrived with the CS rep in tow and loaded onto the jetway to the plane, only to be stopped in the jetway by two Immigration and Naturalization officers, who had some guy splayed up against the wall. One of them growled, "Country of origin?" at me, to which I replied, "United States, Chicago, Illinois, sir." He then grinned and waved me on my way with a surprisingly cheery, "Have a good flight!" I kept waiting for the shots to be fired as the guy they had up against the wall did NOT look happy nor cooperative in the least.
Nothing happened.
I loaded into my seat, noting that the flight crew was the SAME crew that I had flown down there with the day before! They recognized me and asked about my return. "They broke the other plane," I replied, to which they looked at me and said, "Oh dear...!"
In my seat, departure time came and went... "Ladies and gentlemen, we are having a slight difficulty with our air conditioning..." You have GOT to be kidding, I thought to myself.
No. They were serious!
Ten minutes later, we were airborne and it was then that I looked at my ticket - instead of a 2 hour layover in Miami, this flight was straight through to Chicago, landing at almost the same time as I would have with the layover!
Finally, something had gone right!
Showbiz teaches you many things. What I learned on that trip is to NEVER check your luggage if you can help it. If I had, it would not have caught up with me in time to do that evening's show - which went quite well, I might add!
Sandals Resorts brought me down to Puerto Rico recently for a promotional show for Classic Vacations, their biggest travel agency partner. Knowing this I wondered at what challenge would present itself during the show this time out.
To my surprise - no surprises happened with regards to the show itself, at all!
However, the trip was not without its interesting points!
I left Chicago on an earlier flight than I originally had planned for, due to a change in my other plans, and arrived at O'Hare International Airport with plenty of time to get on board. As this was a one-nighter, I was carrying on my luggage, thank heavens!
The flight took off precisely on time and, about ten minutes out, the pilot came on the intercom with the following message: "Ladies and gentlemen, we are having a slight technical difficulty with the airplane, nothing serious, but we are returning to O'Hare so that it can be addressed. Please return your seats to their upright positions and restore your tray-tables to their stored positions. And when we land, please follow the directions of your flight crew TO THE LETTER."
At this point, I noticed that my flight attendant was strapped into her seat and kept pulling on her crash harness to tighten it, every few seconds. Her experssion was NOT conducive to a calm feeling in the pit of one's stomach!
We landed without incident and, as we were exiting the aircraft, I overheard two maintenance workers talking on the jetway: "Yeah, they brought this bird in on flaps. The rudder's frozen solid."
I was NOT thrilled to hear that, as the rudder is the big thing on the tail of the plane that steers the blasted thing!
We saddled up and left on the next flight out and arrived in San Juan about 3 hours late. As we landed, the passengers broke into spontaneous applause and the pilot, the same one we had flown with on the first flight, came on the speakers and, in a credible Elvis imitation, exclaimed, "Thank you, thank you very much!" We all got a good laugh out of that.
I barely made it to the hotel in time to shower, change and get to the show on time.
The show went quite well.
I got to bed at about midnight and was up at 4AM to catch the shuttle back to the airport. Showbiz is SO glamorous!
The 8:02Am flight did not depart on time. It seems we had a "slight technical problem" with the air conditioning system. Those of us with connecting flights, that would be me of course, were asked to de-plane and speak to the ticket agents at the counter to arrange alternate flight plans. As I was in the tail section, this did not bode well. As I had a show that night in Chicago, the delay did not bode well, either.
When I finally got my carcass off the plane, the line to see the ticket agents was stretched down the hall for TWO gates! My hernia (a gift from having pneumonia this summer), was acting up and I was not feeling comfy at all, so, when I saw a customer service representative next to the ticket counter, I approached her and explained my situation as follows:
"Hi. I don't usually do this, but I have a hernia and I am kind of hurting. I also have a connecting flight in Miami to Chicago that I really have to make or I will miss making a show that I have to do tonight." I gestured to the line, which hd stretched to another gate further out by then, "Frankly, if I stand in that line, it's pretty certain that I will fall down and completely certain that I will not make my flight. I don't think either of us wants either of those things to happen. Can you look into what might be done instead?" I smiled. She nodded and asked me firmly to sit down and headed for the ticket counter.
A few moments later, she came running to me. These people never run, it upsets the passengers. "Go to Gate 19. They're boarding right now and will wait for you. I'll catch up with you with your ticket."
I was at Gate 4. Gate 19 was a good 2 city blocks away. I hauled it as best I could.
I arrived with the CS rep in tow and loaded onto the jetway to the plane, only to be stopped in the jetway by two Immigration and Naturalization officers, who had some guy splayed up against the wall. One of them growled, "Country of origin?" at me, to which I replied, "United States, Chicago, Illinois, sir." He then grinned and waved me on my way with a surprisingly cheery, "Have a good flight!" I kept waiting for the shots to be fired as the guy they had up against the wall did NOT look happy nor cooperative in the least.
Nothing happened.
I loaded into my seat, noting that the flight crew was the SAME crew that I had flown down there with the day before! They recognized me and asked about my return. "They broke the other plane," I replied, to which they looked at me and said, "Oh dear...!"
In my seat, departure time came and went... "Ladies and gentlemen, we are having a slight difficulty with our air conditioning..." You have GOT to be kidding, I thought to myself.
No. They were serious!
Ten minutes later, we were airborne and it was then that I looked at my ticket - instead of a 2 hour layover in Miami, this flight was straight through to Chicago, landing at almost the same time as I would have with the layover!
Finally, something had gone right!
Showbiz teaches you many things. What I learned on that trip is to NEVER check your luggage if you can help it. If I had, it would not have caught up with me in time to do that evening's show - which went quite well, I might add!
posted by Lee Darrow at 12:19 AM
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